dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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