So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you traded sex for a burrito?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
