this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
