I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
