sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize