I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
