dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
