R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
