I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
