i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
