i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
