Nicole vs. Life
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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