Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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