I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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