did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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