I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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