I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
