Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
