Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
