Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize