He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
