True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize