i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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