Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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