I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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