I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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