I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
