let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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