I want to stick my p in your. b.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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