i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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