So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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