I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
