Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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