She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize