When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
