you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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