he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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