That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
