my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
