Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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