STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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