the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
