nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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