At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
