needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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