even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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