we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
