New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Someone signed my nipple.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
