How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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