I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
