I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
