she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
