You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
