Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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