Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
love makes seman taste better
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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