It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
