what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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