TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
