evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize