I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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