gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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