He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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