"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
