Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
