I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
