He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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